Looking for a reason to write but not sure where to start? Join me and hundreds of others in Five Minute Fridays started by Lisa Jo-Baker. The key is to write for five minutes based on Lisa-Jo’s prompt “No extreme editing; no worrying about perfect grammar, font, or punctuation. Unscripted. Unedited. Real.”
So here we go: “Mess”
So I had to chuckle to myself when I saw this word. MESS!!! Well, here’s a bit of transparency. I’m intimidated by mess. I don’t function well in mess. I shut down in Mess.
I spend hours on Meticulous and Perfectionism. And funny how even after double checking not once but twice (and sometimes more), I still manage to find something wrong.
Over the years I’ve read and taken on the perspective that mess often signifies chaos or confusion. So I think it’s fair to say that with that perspective, I’ve become a bit too concerned about what others would think if I was no [not] so put together, or on point with certain things.
The After Five: I will be the FIRST and I’m certain not the only one or the last to tell you that BLAH!!!! Meticulous and Perfectionism will literally drive you crazy!!! I’m sure there’s someone out there who will agree. 🙂 This hit me the most when I was an instructor for the first time and felt the need to read and do as much as possible to make sure students were getting what I considered a valued education. So if that meant staying up till 3 or 4 in the morning with 2 hours of sleep before starting the day, then hey, “It’s not about me, it’s all about them.” Um, while that may be true in certain circumstances, any obsession with something often overwhelms the true passion, joy, and purpose of it. And while I tried to “fake it” on the front line, behind closed doors, yes, I was a Mess!!! It was not until I lost my job, with way too much time on my hand, (but GREATLY needed), that I started to accept the fact that I don’t have to be perfect, I don’t have to know everything and I don’t have to be “All that” to people in order to satisfy unrealistic expectations.
To go back a bit, before I lost my job, I was working almost 14 hour days, 4 days a week, on minimal hours of sleep and not to mention the job issues itself, and it became so overwhelming (with noticeable health issues), that I literally said to God I just couldn’t do it anymore. (another topic for another day, I was hoping that that door closing meant another one would readily open, but that was not the case….).
So long story short, it often times takes a messy situation to open our eyes to new revelations that we would not have seen otherwise. Mess happens. It’s not meant to be permanent, but I do believe it often serves as the foundation upon which many of our blessings are formed. If mess didn’t happen we’d never feel the need to assess situations, consider changes and therefore make room for more growth. So, slowly but surely, I’m still learning. 🙂 And OAN: That, my friends, was the Mess that led to me starting my own professional services. So mess is not a lost cause (and I’m now reminded of the “Paint” post- it’s all about how we choose to view things).
Have a Good Night Y’all!!! 🙂