Five Minute Friday: Once

Do you struggle with wanting to belong, people-pleasing, co-dependency issues, or need for validation?

If so, I understand. That was me ONCE, and even now I still find that I have to be careful. This often looks like a battle between a simple yes or no.

What do I mean?

Our flesh often times says “yes” to things our spirit is saying “no” to. We want to belong so we go along with things that we know are either not right or not conducive to our overall well-being. We want to please someone so we’re not alone, so we’re accepted and we say “yes” to some obligation even though our spirit is literally screaming “NO”. (time) We may say “yes” in the sense that we tolerate certain behavior because we believe we’d lose out if we let go (no). And then sometimes we say “yes” by acting a certain way to gain attention because we want to be seen instead of accepting a no or rejection as a form of redirection, protection, and/or blessing in disguise.

We’ve all experienced one or all of these at some point in our lives, and in some ways still are… So what have I done to break free of these irrational beliefs where I thought ‘If I… then she/he will…’ or ‘If I… then this will or will not…’?

One MAJOR thing that’s helped me is SELF-REFLECTION. Being unapologetically honest with myself and God about why I think and do some of the things I do. It’s not pretty. It doesn’t feel good. You may even feel a bit naïve and gullible, but when you get tired of compromising or giving your “pearls to swine” that wake-up call for a “come-to-Jesus-talk” begins to weigh heavy on your heart.

Don’t feel bad… Feel better by doing better… Self-reflection allows you to question your current beliefs which foster certain thoughts and eventually certain behaviors. And if we’re honest, many of us have been living and existing on a faulty belief system… BUT it doesn’t have to remain as such.

I’d love to hear ONE thing that’s helped you overcome similar issues mentioned above.

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4 thoughts on “Five Minute Friday: Once

  1. Miccah says:

    Ooooh, the need for validation. That’s particularly true with writing for me. God is teaching me that I’m writing solely for an audience of One, but it sure does feel like I’ve written something worth reading when I get likes or comments. There’s nothing worse than hearing crickets after hitting the word Publish!
    Your post sounded like you had a hard time saying no to others. I’m glad you’re moving past that. Growing older and being more comfortable with who you are go hand in hand. Thankfully!
    thank you for your post!
    I’m your neighbor at #39 this week,

    • Koko says:

      Hi Miccah. Thanks for stopping in! It has definitely been a journey. And yess to the ‘likes and comments’. Have to be careful not to get caught up int hose. lol

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